Out of Control

As I’ve said before, patience is not my strong suit. I have been struggling over the last month to put an entry together. It also just so happens that this has been a very bad month for me with regard to my patience. I have lost it on numerous occasions and have been trying hard to figure it all out. Patience really does not come naturally to me. But this exercise is forcing me to find new ways of viewing patience. Like we said from the beginning of this blog, these fruits aren’t magic. We must practice them and exercise those fruit “muscles” in order to make them more manifest in our lives. This one is no exception.

We looked briefly at what the Bible has to say about patience in the last entry. Now for the dictionary’s definition. According to Dictionary.com, “patience” has several related meanings: “the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like; an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay; quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care.” This is another good picture of what we are going for.

Patience seems to me to be about time and control most of all. I find I am most impatient when my plans are not being accomplished and when things (or people, like my kids) aren’t moving according to the timeline I have mapped out. Is this true for you, too? How do we manage our time? How do we react when our time gets away from us? It seems a little obvious, I suppose, but at least part of the answer to practicing patience must be in this concept of time and our expectations of time. If we learn to see time in a different way, will that make us more patient? How do we see time now and what changes do we need to make to that view of time?

Patience also has a lot to do with control and, more specifically, control over our time. It makes sense that patience has a lot to do with control, doesn’t it? Who is in control? I often fool myself into believing that it is me. But ultimately, I need to release all semblance of control over my own life and well-being to God. When I constantly struggle for control, I view time as my own and are frustrated when things don’t go according to my plan. Am I frustrated because of my plan? Or am I really frustrated because I feel I’ve lost control of the situation? I think it is the latter if I am really honest with myself. When we practice letting go of this control, we can become more patient people.

So, what does letting go of control look like? To me, it starts with holding my plans loosely. We have to make plans to be productive in our daily lives. But we must guard against letting our plans be the be-all and end-all of everything. When we hold our plans loosely, we allow God to work in our daily lives. We are more able to follow His lead and nudges as He brings things into our lives. We become more flexible with our time and, as a result, more patient.

While we need to release control over our time and plans, we need to practice more control over our reactions. These go hand-in-hand. This feels like one of God’s oxymorons, like “lose life to gain it” or “the servant will be the greatest.” You must lose control to gain it. We must let go of our control over our time (which is really no control at all because only God can truly control time) in order to gain control over our reactions. Control over our reactions is the very definition of patience. After all, “bearing” things “without complaint…or annoyance” and “the ability…to suppress…annoyance” both have to do with controlling our reactions and keeping our tempers at bay.

Does this all make sense to you? What practical suggestions do you all have to creating a proper view of time, letting God take control, holding plans loosely, and controlling our reactions?