To Be Gentle

We are called to be gentle. All the time. Gentleness is to be one of our defining character traits. It is to be "evident to all." To all of the people who see us or come into contact with us.

I confess that I do not do this. I am not always gentle and sometimes I am more like a steamroller than a gentle breeze. I get impatient and speak in a decidedly un-gently tone and with un-gentle words. And, if I am to be honest, I have to admit that I am powerless to change these reactions on my own. I know because I've tried. One of the things I have struggled with, particularly in the last few years since I've had children, is impatience and the anger and harshness that follows.

The only real way to change these un-gentle behaviors is through the power of the Holy Spirit in us. But is there something practical that we can do to help? How can we facilitate the work of the Spirit in our lives? I believe that we can and that it starts by analyzing our actions and identifying areas of un-gentleness in our own lives. Are there situations in which you tend to not be gentle? Are there "buttons" in you that provoke reactions that are less than gentle? Do you sometimes use language that does not reflect gentleness? If we are praying about this, I believe that the Spirit will help us identify these areas in our lives.

Once identified, this of alternate reactions. Being aware of circumstances and our reactions will help us to identify potential roadblocks to gentleness in our lives and avoid them or turn them into more positive situations. If certain situations tend to repeat or are particularly difficult for you, then start to think of a game plan to handle these situations in a more gentle way the next time. A good start of a game plan is to pray. Then take a few minutes or even seconds to calm down and quiet your heart/spirit. I don't think we can be gentle without a gentle and quiet heart within us. A good third step to the game plan may be to deliberately think of things to do and say that ARE gentle. You can add anything to your game plan that will help you either change your reactions/actions or avoid a troublesome situation altogether.

Let's all focus on doing this for the rest of this month. Take notes and write down your game plan so you can see your progress (a prayer journal is perfect for this). Let me know how you are doing!

Gentleness

When I think of gentleness, I think of touching a baby, animal or human; caring for a child when he or she is hurt; a soft breeze.  But I also tend to think of it in terms of what gentleness is not.  It is not harsh, condemning, cold, or mean.  Dictionary.com defines gentle as "mild; kindly" or "not rough or severe; moderate."

In Scripture, we are commanded many times to be gentle and to live a life characterized by gentleness.  Phil. 4:5 commands, "Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near." Eph. 4:2 states, "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." I Pet. 3:4 tells us that "a gentle and quiet spirit" is "of great worth in God's sight. 

So, what does it really mean to be a gentle person? As I was studying the different Bible verses dealing with gentleness, I noticed that the characteristic is often linked with compassion, kindness, humility and/or patience.  (See Col. 3:12) to me, a common thread in all of these qualities is a sort of quiet inner strength.  We may be tempted to see gentleness as meek, but it is not.  Both God the Father and Jesus are described as gentle, but they are not weak by any stretch.  But they are strong in a controlled way.

To Elijah, God appeared not in a fire or an earthquake, but in a gentle wind.  I Kings 19:12.  Jesus came into Jerusalem "gentle and riding on a donkey." He also id to His disciples (and to us), "Take my yolk upon you and lean from me, for I am gentle and humble in heat and you will find rest for your souls." If we are to be like God, like Jesus, we need to foster a gentle spirit within ourselves.

Gentleness is controlled strength in our inner being. It is the internal ability to control our speech and actions.  (Prov. 15:1, 25:15; Eph. 4:2; I Pet. 3:15) It is what gives us the ability to be kind, compassionate, merciful, and humble.

How do you all (if anyone is still reading this!) think of gentleness.  What comes to mind? How do you practice gentleness?  In the next entry, I'll try to flesh out a little more how we can train ourselves in gentleness in some practical ways...