To Be Kind Is To Forgive

From Ephesians 4:32, we learn that kindness also involves forgiveness. Forgiveness is essential to retaining a kind attitude towards others. Think about it. If someone has wronged you and you are holding onto that hurt or anger, isn't it difficult to be kind to that person? But God not only calls us to act kindly but to have a kind, tender-hearted attitude towards each other. So, forgiveness is necessary.

The example is obvious. The verse says "...just as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you." We are to forgive in the same way that God has forgiven us. Totally and completely, with no remembrance of the wrong. Scripture tells us that God has removed our sins from us as far as the east is from the west. He does not hold our sins against us but instead extends much-needed grace to us in our sins. We are called to do the same. We are to treat those who have wronged us as if the wrong never happened. That is kindness at it's core and what we are called to do.

Easier said than done, right? That seems to be a theme with these fruits, doesn't it? Let's start by being deliberate in prayer and action. Even if our emotions aren't completely in line, we can still control our actions towards others. We rely on the Holy Spirit, through our prayerful petition, to make the necessary adjustments to our hearts and attitudes. But this requires a commitment on our part to pray regularly about this issue, specifically confessing our unkind attitudes and sincerely asking for a change to those attitudes. And a commitment to acting kindly, extending grace, no matter what.

Be Ye Kind

Does anyone remember this children's song? "Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God, for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. Do Do, Do Do Do Do. Ba-rooom. Ephesians 4:32."

Ever since I realized it was time to start blogging about the fruit of kindness, I can't seem to get this song out of my head. I like that though. What more perfect verse is there to jump-start a discussion and understanding of kindness? It gives us a definition!

So, it seems that being kind means, at least in part, being tenderhearted and forgiving, following the example of Christ. This sounds a lot easier than it is!

First of all, we are to NOT harden our hearts toward anyone in any situation. Even when they are mean and hard-hearted towards us. Lately, I have been trying to teach this concept to my 4-year-old. He naturally has a very kind heart and quiet spirit. (How great is that?!) But his little sister has learned the fun of picking on my 4-year-old and often this "picking" is very mean. It is so hard for Will to be kind in the face of the meanness! What a hard concept for all of us and, really, how many of us are naturally kind like my son? If this is hard for him, do the rest of us have any hope of succeeding in kindness as God would like us to exercise it?

The answer, as with all of the other fruits is in the promise of the Spirit's help. And prayer! Kindness is actually a discipline. The more we practice the better we will get.

I would suggest getting into the habit of praying for a kind heart every morning before interacting with anyone at all. Then, throughout the day, if you feel your heart start to harden, say another quick prayer seeking the Spirit's help. Join me in trying this and let's see together what a difference this can make!

Next time, forgiveness! ...