Goodness, Part 1

The fruit of goodness seems so obvious and straightforward, that I kind of struggled with writing about it for this blog. I mean, it’s just being good, right? Well, yes and no. I want to look at what that really means. First, let’s define goodness. According to dictionary.com, goodness means: “1. the state or quality of being good; 2. moral excellence; virtue; 3. kindness, generosity; … or 5. the best part of anything, essence, strength.”

The very definition of goodness makes it seem impossible to attain. I mean, who among us is really morally excellent or “the best part of anything.” I’d love to tell you that Scripture is more encouraging on this, but listen to what the Bible has to say about goodness and humans. Jeremiah 13:23 states, “Can the … leopard [change] its spots? Neither can you do good who are accustomed to doing evil.” Romans 3:12 tells us that “there is no one who does good, not even one.” Matthew 19:17 says, “There is only One who is good.” I can tell you that is not talking about you or me!

Both the definition and Scripture paint a bleak picture of our goodness as human beings and of our capacity to be good. Basically, we are not good. At all. Not even if we try. But here is the hope of Scripture – God provides a way for us to break free from our naturally evil natures and experience His goodness.

The apostle Paul describes the struggle and the solution in his letter to the Romans. He says, “So I find this law at work: when I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God – through Jesus Christ our Lord!” We are incapable of being good apart from Jesus. But God promises to help us! Without Him, we are nothing. Apart from Him, we can bear no fruit, especially the fruit of goodness.

The Bible also says that good things can come from good stored within us. Matthew 12:35. The only way to store up good things in our heart is to meditate upon and learn God’s Word. We already saw that God and His Word are the only sources of good. So that is what we must store up in our hearts. Then we can draw upon God’s goodness stored within us to know and do what is good. I know I’m repeating myself, but I cannot stress enough that we cannot be good apart from God. The Bible is clear on that. Our connection to and relationship with God is vitally important to our production of the fruit of goodness. So, the first step towards the fruit of goodness is to make sure we are connecting with God regularly.

God shows us what is good by the example of Jesus Christ and through His Word. Micah 6:8 says, “He has showed you, O Man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.” There is a definition of being good right there. We are to focus first on our walk with God and to be humble in that walk, always remembering that it is God in us that enables us to follow these commands. Then we are to be just in our actions and to be merciful always. So, this is one concrete thing we can do to encourage goodness in our lives – in each circumstance, act justly and love mercy.

As you go through this holiday season and deal with often-stressful situations, take time to study God’s word and learn what He has for us. Then look for opportunities to be, do and say what is good.

Transformation and Thankfulness

I know this isn't directly related to any particular fruit, but this topic has been on my mind and I feel I should write something about it. I hope you get something out of it too!

Last night I was watching The Biggest Loser and I started thinking. I know, crazy right? :) Anyway, it was an episode where they were looking back at the lives and experiences of past contestants. I noticed that nearly every one of them had taken jobs in fitness after their Biggest Loser experience was over. Each one was so excited about the transformation in their bodies that they couldn't help but tell others, help others experience the same, and devote their whole lives to the fitness and nutrition that helped to bring about the change in the first place. When we experience transformation and are changed for the better, the natural response is absolute devotion and excitement.

So, when God transforms our lives, why don't we react in the same way? Where is the excitement that pushes us to tell everyone we know and even people we don't know? Where is the passion that moves us to devote our entire lives and all of our energy to that which has brought about this change in us? Where is our utter devotion? God has transformed not our earthy, temporary bodies, but our internal, eternal souls. What could surpass that? We need to get excited about this!

So often, I think, the pressures of this world we live in cause us to squelch the passion and excitement we feel at the moment of transformation (or the moment when we first realize we have been transformed). We are embarrassed to proclaim our excitement. We are ashamed to be labeled a "crazy Christian" and don't want to deal with all that entails. But we shouldn't allow the world to kill our excitement over this! I'm not saying we need to talk about it every minute of every day, but let's allow ourselves to be excited, to be passionate, and to tell people about what we've experienced. God can use our passion, our joy, to touch the lives of those around us whether we know it or not. We limit Him and His purpose when we push those feelings down and react from embarrassment instead of from the joy and fervor that God has given as a result of His work in our lives.

Instead of squelching, let's try to let our excitement show. Let's share it with others! What better day than Thanksgiving for this lesson? Today and every day, I am so thankful for God's work in my life. I am eternally grateful that even when I didn't care, God refused to let me go. He actively pursued me and pursues me still, for I am His child. He continues to work in my life and for that I am thankful too. What a great God we serve! He is deserving of our thankfulness and praise! Every good thing that we have and experience in this life is a gift, a precious gift from Him. Praise God!!

Another thing that has been on my mind is our (often) failure to devote our time and efforts to learning more about God and spending time with Him. Think of something that you enjoy doing, a hobby perhaps, and think back to the time when you first discovered it. For me, that is cake decorating and coming up with new recipes for cakes and cookies. I discovered the tools for this earlier this year and, ever since then, I cannot get enough of it. I read everything I can; I look at pictures and learn new techniques; I practice a lot and try new things. In short, I devote a lot of my free time to this new hobby. Are you the same with your hobby and/or passion?

I was thinking of this and wondering why we don't react this way to our faith and our love for God. I can spend all day looking at cake books and reading recipes and techniques, but some days it's all I can do to pick up my Bible and read what God has for me. How said is that?! Shouldn't we be showing this same passion to God? Why is it that I'm not obsessed with reading God's word, hearing his techniques for my life, and devoting time to him? Perhaps this passion can come only through prayer and practice. Can you pledge with me to make this a larger part of our lives? To be so excited about what God has done, is doing, and will do that we simply cannot get enough? That we rush in our free time to read the Bible, to pour over God's word and put His techniques into practice. That we come to a place where we think about it all the time and come up with new ways to live God's principles. How great is your Word, O God, how wonderful your precepts. They are like life to me! (see Psalm 119)

To Be Kind Is To Forgive

From Ephesians 4:32, we learn that kindness also involves forgiveness. Forgiveness is essential to retaining a kind attitude towards others. Think about it. If someone has wronged you and you are holding onto that hurt or anger, isn't it difficult to be kind to that person? But God not only calls us to act kindly but to have a kind, tender-hearted attitude towards each other. So, forgiveness is necessary.

The example is obvious. The verse says "...just as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you." We are to forgive in the same way that God has forgiven us. Totally and completely, with no remembrance of the wrong. Scripture tells us that God has removed our sins from us as far as the east is from the west. He does not hold our sins against us but instead extends much-needed grace to us in our sins. We are called to do the same. We are to treat those who have wronged us as if the wrong never happened. That is kindness at it's core and what we are called to do.

Easier said than done, right? That seems to be a theme with these fruits, doesn't it? Let's start by being deliberate in prayer and action. Even if our emotions aren't completely in line, we can still control our actions towards others. We rely on the Holy Spirit, through our prayerful petition, to make the necessary adjustments to our hearts and attitudes. But this requires a commitment on our part to pray regularly about this issue, specifically confessing our unkind attitudes and sincerely asking for a change to those attitudes. And a commitment to acting kindly, extending grace, no matter what.

Be Ye Kind

Does anyone remember this children's song? "Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God, for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. Do Do, Do Do Do Do. Ba-rooom. Ephesians 4:32."

Ever since I realized it was time to start blogging about the fruit of kindness, I can't seem to get this song out of my head. I like that though. What more perfect verse is there to jump-start a discussion and understanding of kindness? It gives us a definition!

So, it seems that being kind means, at least in part, being tenderhearted and forgiving, following the example of Christ. This sounds a lot easier than it is!

First of all, we are to NOT harden our hearts toward anyone in any situation. Even when they are mean and hard-hearted towards us. Lately, I have been trying to teach this concept to my 4-year-old. He naturally has a very kind heart and quiet spirit. (How great is that?!) But his little sister has learned the fun of picking on my 4-year-old and often this "picking" is very mean. It is so hard for Will to be kind in the face of the meanness! What a hard concept for all of us and, really, how many of us are naturally kind like my son? If this is hard for him, do the rest of us have any hope of succeeding in kindness as God would like us to exercise it?

The answer, as with all of the other fruits is in the promise of the Spirit's help. And prayer! Kindness is actually a discipline. The more we practice the better we will get.

I would suggest getting into the habit of praying for a kind heart every morning before interacting with anyone at all. Then, throughout the day, if you feel your heart start to harden, say another quick prayer seeking the Spirit's help. Join me in trying this and let's see together what a difference this can make!

Next time, forgiveness! ...

Out of Control

As I’ve said before, patience is not my strong suit. I have been struggling over the last month to put an entry together. It also just so happens that this has been a very bad month for me with regard to my patience. I have lost it on numerous occasions and have been trying hard to figure it all out. Patience really does not come naturally to me. But this exercise is forcing me to find new ways of viewing patience. Like we said from the beginning of this blog, these fruits aren’t magic. We must practice them and exercise those fruit “muscles” in order to make them more manifest in our lives. This one is no exception.

We looked briefly at what the Bible has to say about patience in the last entry. Now for the dictionary’s definition. According to Dictionary.com, “patience” has several related meanings: “the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like; an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay; quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care.” This is another good picture of what we are going for.

Patience seems to me to be about time and control most of all. I find I am most impatient when my plans are not being accomplished and when things (or people, like my kids) aren’t moving according to the timeline I have mapped out. Is this true for you, too? How do we manage our time? How do we react when our time gets away from us? It seems a little obvious, I suppose, but at least part of the answer to practicing patience must be in this concept of time and our expectations of time. If we learn to see time in a different way, will that make us more patient? How do we see time now and what changes do we need to make to that view of time?

Patience also has a lot to do with control and, more specifically, control over our time. It makes sense that patience has a lot to do with control, doesn’t it? Who is in control? I often fool myself into believing that it is me. But ultimately, I need to release all semblance of control over my own life and well-being to God. When I constantly struggle for control, I view time as my own and are frustrated when things don’t go according to my plan. Am I frustrated because of my plan? Or am I really frustrated because I feel I’ve lost control of the situation? I think it is the latter if I am really honest with myself. When we practice letting go of this control, we can become more patient people.

So, what does letting go of control look like? To me, it starts with holding my plans loosely. We have to make plans to be productive in our daily lives. But we must guard against letting our plans be the be-all and end-all of everything. When we hold our plans loosely, we allow God to work in our daily lives. We are more able to follow His lead and nudges as He brings things into our lives. We become more flexible with our time and, as a result, more patient.

While we need to release control over our time and plans, we need to practice more control over our reactions. These go hand-in-hand. This feels like one of God’s oxymorons, like “lose life to gain it” or “the servant will be the greatest.” You must lose control to gain it. We must let go of our control over our time (which is really no control at all because only God can truly control time) in order to gain control over our reactions. Control over our reactions is the very definition of patience. After all, “bearing” things “without complaint…or annoyance” and “the ability…to suppress…annoyance” both have to do with controlling our reactions and keeping our tempers at bay.

Does this all make sense to you? What practical suggestions do you all have to creating a proper view of time, letting God take control, holding plans loosely, and controlling our reactions?

Ahhhh......Patience

Wow - we are to patience already. I confess that patience is a true struggle of mine. I'm sure my family can attest to that! Particularly my children, if they were old enough to explain such things. I have been putting off writing about patience, but it actually is good that I must. I have a lot to learn and definitely need points of practical application!

So, a good place to start is with Scripture, as always. Proverbs has a lot to say about patience. It's mostly about why patience is a good thing to have. Here are some verses to consider:

Proverbs 14:29 -- "A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly."

Proverbs 15:18 -- "A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel."

Proverbs 16:32 -- "Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temnper than one who takes a city."

Proverbs 19:11 -- "A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense."

I think about times when I have lost my patience and I know that the words in Proverbs are true. It makes things worse when a temper is lost. Not only does it make others angry too, but it makes my mood and attitude worse overall. I want to be considered wise, calm, and as having understanding. Clearly, having patience will produce those qualities in me.

Take some time to think about other benefits of patience, or share any other Proverbs that pertain to this "fruit." In the next post, I will start to talk about how to get patience (that is really the key, isn't it??). Until then, be patient! :)

Purpose

I have, in recent years, been thinking a lot about purpose. What purpose does God have for my life? Why am I here? What am I supposed to be doing? My questioning comes in the context of my life's "work" or the job I'm supposed to be doing, the legacy I will leave. I am usually thinking of my future - my career, my "path," my life's purpose. It occurs to me now, though, that this focus is entirely misplaced. My concern should not be on my plans and on having things set in place for me. This journey called life is not about knowing exactly what is coming and knowing what to do in every situation ahead of time. I would like it to be that way! Wouldn't life be so much easier?

Having such knowledge might give me momentary human comfort, but thoughts and questions like this only hinder my ability to allow God to work in my life. It again is my focus on myself rather than on God. How can growth occur if I move through life acting out a pre-determined script? Instead, I should live my life focusing on loving and serving God in each moment. In this way, I can remain open to whatever God has for me each day. I can trust God to see and lead me down the right path even when I don't see or know what that path is exactly. And it makes it easier for me to maintain constant conversation with God through daily prayer.

In each moment, rather than worry about what that moment has brought us or where we should go next, we can speak with God. Allow our hearts to praise Him for the good moments and the things we see around us all the time. Praise Him in the bad times and struggles, acknowledging that it is through those times that God is teaching us and drawing us closer to Him. Pray for help with decisions. Pray prayers of faith, expressing trust in God for control of each moment and day. Pray for those we come in contact with. Long and elaborate prayers aren't necessary, only our short statements and thoughts will make up this running conversation.

God promises to fill us with joy and peace, along with all the other "fruits," when we focus on Him. Let's test God in this and see what a difference it can make in our lives!

The Way We See The World

"Whoever wants to become great must be a servant; the first shall be last and the last shall be first." Also, read Matthew 19:30, 20:1-16, and 20:26-28.

This teaching of Jesus seems to go against our fundamental ideas of fairness and justice. That those who come to Jesus at the end of very bad and immoral lives should be granted the same reward of eternal life with God that others who have been faithful their whole lives receive. We tend to look for punishment, revenge, "justice." But our ideas of these things are informed by our humanity and sinful nature; they depend on our self-centeredness and selfishness. God calls for a different framework. We are all together as one in His kingdom. It's not about me being better than anyone or that type of comparison at all. It is about humility, the attitude of being genuinely happy for the advantages of others without any regard at all for myself. It is the total lack of comparison. This Godly attitude involves seeing others through God's eyes. How hard is this to achieve! Especially when this world, our culture, the hard-to-avoid lens of our sinful nature, all tell us to compare and get all that we "deserve."

Jesus spoke the words in Matthew as a lesson to his disciples as they bickered over their place in heaven and as condemnation of the religious leaders of the day. It is so easy for us now to separate ourselves from people like the Sanhedrin men we read about and the Pharisees and Teachers of the Law who put Jesus to death. We think we are not like them: pious, arrogant, condemned. But there is a real danger of that even today. Many of us have or come close to having the same attitudes. For those of us in the church, it is even more dangerous because we think we know the Scriptures, Jesus, and God. We believe we are doing His will. And many times we are. But if we fail even for a moment to focus totally on Jesus, we may fall into a reliance on our own so-called knowledge and do seemingly good things with bad attitudes, judgment, and arrogance. Isn't this what happened to the Pharisees? They thought and probably truly believed that they were following God's law. They knew the Scriptures and the law handed down by God to Moses. They taught the people that law and followed it to the letter themselves. But their hearts were not in the right place. They followed the "rules" for the sake of those rules and to glorify themselves. How easy it is for us to do the same! It is so easy to revel in the praises of others and the commendations we receive sometimes for doing good instead of humbly glorifying God for any good that has been done and seeing ourselves as the tool and God the one to be praised.

We need to be very careful to keep our focus on Jesus. He must be the center, our purpose and motivation, in all things. For even good things lose value if Jesus is not at the heart of them. This is how we keep our motives pure. In the gospels (such as Mark 14:3-9), the story is told of a woman who poured expensive perfume over Jesus. Those there, presumably including the 12 apostles, rebuked the woman saying that the perfume should have been sold and the money used to feed the poor. Sounds like a good plan, right? Isn't that kind of the way we think of things today? But Jesus disagreed and said that what the woman did was right. It was right because her focus was completely on Jesus and her intent was solely to honor Him. That is the lens through which we should judge our thoughts and actions. The way we see the world matters and the lens we view through matters. We need to see the world the way Jesus does and act accordingly.

Freedom from Anxiety

As mentioned in another post, peace by definition is the absence of anxiety and worry. We can rid our minds of anxiety by putting things in proper perspective. In Luke 12:22-31, Jesus says:

"...I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his Kingdom and these things will be given to you as well."

God cares about us and will meet our needs. Period. We need to truly believe this and free our minds to focus on Him instead of these little things. I like how he says "do not set your heart" on these things. I think that is really the key. Our hearts are meant to be set on Jesus and nothing else. It is a scary position to be in sometimes. In a way, we are hardwired to focus on things like food, clothing, and other basic needs for this world/life. But God commands us to leave those things in His able hands so that we can focus on Him. When we do this, when we make this conscious decision to change our perspective and our focus, He will fill our hearts and minds with peace. That peace that we all desire, that is beyond our understanding.

This decision, I believe, is a daily one. Even one that must be made moment by moment. Like I said, we are hardwired to worry about certain things and must be very conscious in our efforts to push those thoughts aside and replace them with thoughts of Jesus. Perhaps memorizing this passage, or even one verse of it, will help. When thoughts of worry and fear come, recite this passage until the worry and fear are pushed out. Pray to God for help, but do not focus the words of your prayer on your worry or fear. That only gives that worry and fear more prominence in your mind. Mention it, then move on to praise, worship, and thankfulness to re-direct our focus on those things.

Negative Thinking

I have been thinking lately about my attitude and it occurred to me that very often my attitude is what keeps me from living in the peace that God has for me. Here is a prayer I recently wrote for myself. I'm hoping that it will speak to you all, too, just as it did to me.

Lord, take away that part of me that is incessantly focused on disappointments (real or perceived), unmet needs, annoyances, inconveniences, unmet expectations, failures, unreached goals. These are self-centered and self-serving thoughts that create in me an attitude of discontentment and anger. They defeat me in my efforts to live like Christ. These thoughts do no good for anyone.

Jesus calls me to live in His presence and follow His will rather than my own. Negative and selfish thoughts like those above reflect the failure of my own plans and my reliance on myself and other humans to meet my needs. Instead, I should be bending my own plans, wants, and desires to an attitude of patience and reliance on the plans of God.

Living in peace depends at least in part on my letting go of my own plans, or at the very least holding my plans very loosely, so that I can enjoy God's presence in each moment and be open to what He has for me in each day. I cannot see His plan if I am narrowly focused on my own or upset because my own plans were destroyed by circumstances.

What is Peace?

What does peace really mean? To know how to get it, we must understand what it is. We must understand what we are looking for. According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary, peace means:

1. "a state of mutual harmony between people or groups;"
2. "freedom from any strife or dissension;"
3. "freedom of the mind from annoyance, distraction, anxiety, an obsession, etc.; tranquillity; serenity;" and/or
4. "a state or condition conducive to, proceeding from, or characterized by tranquillity."

I think Biblical peace refers to all of these definitions, but especially the third, the absence of distraction and anxiety. It is the absence of anything that would distract us from God or that would interrupt our focus on Him. As it said in Isaiah 26, the peace of God comes when our mind is steadfast and fixed on God.

Here are some more verses on peace that will hopefully define it further and encourage you regarding God's promise of peace to those who will claim it.

Romans 8:6 - The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace.

Isaiah 32:17 - The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever.

Isaiah 54:10 - Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you.

Psalm 29:11 - The Lord gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace.

The Path of Peace

It has been way too long since I've written a post and some of you may be wondering if I'd abandoned this project altogether. I am sorry! I let life get in the way and change my focus a little bit. Time flies by. But I am still excited about this project and the opportunity to learn and grow that it presents. So, let's get going again and start up with the next fruit - peace.

Peace is a wonderful fruit and an often elusive one. It always seems that there is something to worry about or keep our thoughts/minds in a state of unrest. This is the opposite of peace. The more we strive for peace, the harder it is to attain. A devotion I read recently deals with this very subject and really hit home for me. It is from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young:

"Do not search for security in the world you inhabit. You tend to make mental checklists of things you need to do in order to gain control of your life. If only you could check everything off your list, you could relax and be at peace. But the more you work to accomplish that goal, the more things crop up on your list. The harder you try, the more frustrated you become.

"There is a better way to find security in this life. Instead of scrutinizing your checklist, focus your attention on My Presence with you. This continual contact with Me will keep you in My Peace. Moreover, I will help you sort out what is important and what is not, what needs to be done now and what does not. Fix your eyes not on what is seen (your circumstances), but on what is unseen (My Presence). Isaiah 26:3."

Isaiah 26:3-4 says, "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal." God promises to keep us in peace. Not only that, but "perfect peace." What we need to do is claim it by keeping our minds fixed on the Lord, trusting in Him in all circumstances and remembering at all times that it is the Lord who is our eternal Rock.

What does Love look like?

It's been a while since we've posted anything but I found something in a book I'm reading that is good to think about. This is out of order but i'm going back to the subject of Love. Which I guess it's all about love, isn't it?

The following is a quote from "Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control" by Heather Forbes and B.Bryan Post. It's a really good book so far and it's about parenting children with past trauma. That trauma can be a lot of things from minor to major (adoption, frequent moving, abuse, neglect, medical trauma, etc.) but I think this book can be for anyone. Here they talk about loving your child:

"I have found one of the best ways to consider love is to understand that love is what we bring to the space that surrounds us. Love is not possessive or controlling. It simply exists in the present space and time. Any two people are capable of experiencing love at any given moment if they are able to put aside their fears and preconceived notions for what love is supposed to be. Love is being fully present in the moment.

To love a child is merely to be present with her, to not be thinking about work, chores, or the day's duties, but rather to be present, attuned, and in harmony with the child's needs and desires. Not that you will give in to every need, want, or desire, but you will open yourself up with the ability to be present to her without judgement or a need to change her. This is to love a child."

How often do we do this with each of our children? Or our spouses? Or our friends and family? Just think about your day and see how you can take time to be fully present. That means putting aside the stresses and the worries. I've started to be conscience of this as I'm reading this book. I'm also reading "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. I highly recommend this book to everyone. We are doing it for small group and it has a dvd that goes with it for the group study. It's about the crazy love that God gives to us and what our response to that should be. You can google Francis Chan and find utube videos of him speaking. It's really good.

The challenge here for today is to to conscience of being fully present in the moment. In the end, how we've loved people is what is important, not our to-do list.

Amy

What Produces Joy?

We talked about the products of joy in the last entry. But what about the other side? What kinds of things result in joy? Is there any way we can develop joy in our lives? Joy only comes from God, but are there things we can do to help us experience the joy that God has given through His Spirit?

I think I talked before about slowing down. This is key, I think. In slowing down in our daily lives, we learn to appreciate the gifts that God has given us. We are better able to recognize the simple moments of joy that surround us all the time. And we can hear God's voice and direction more readily. Slowing down includes taking time to just sit and spend time with God. When we strengthen that relationship, we will be better able to experience all that God wants to give us, including true joy. Psalm 21:6, among other verses, states that the presence of the Lord brings joy. Spending time with God will bring us joy.

We can also learn to just take pleasure in things. Eating the good food God has provided, or just taking pleasure in the company of friends and family. In the Bible, references to joy are often linked to feasting and fellowship. God gives us pleasures so that we can learn and experience joy through them. So, let's not feel guilty about enjoying that which God has given us. I'm not talking about over-indulging or being gluttonous. That is certainly not what God intends and that is clear from Scripture, too. But when we can learn to enjoy the pleasures of life without giving the enjoyment of those pleasures the position of greatest importance, we will experience joy.

Seeing each day as a gift from God will also bring us joy. Each day is a gift. Each day of health for me and my family is a gift. Each day I can spend with those I love, or doing something I love to do, is a gift. Sometimes we need an attitude adjustment to recognize it, but if we discipline ourselves to start thinking this way, God promises to bring us joy.

Laugh. One of the products of joy that I mentioned in the last post is laughter. So, let's learn to laugh more often. This goes along with the enjoyment of life, I suppose. And isn't laughter truly a gift? If you haven't had a good belly laugh for awhile, try to remember how good it felt to just sit and laugh. Try to associate with people who bring laughter into your life. Those people are gifts from God who can help you to experience joy more fully. A few people in my life come to mind when I think of laughter and joy. My brother and sister are two of them. When we are all together, we can laugh like at no other time. Part of that is a lifetime of experiences together. But it always feels good to laugh with them.

I'm sure there are more things out there and we will talk about them in a later post, but for now, try to put some of these things in your life right now and see if it helps you to be more joyful. As always, let me know your thoughts, experiences, and progress!

Pure Joy

We've talked about the fact that joy is not an emotion, but is deeper than that. And longer lasting than mere emotions. If we allow God to work in us, we can experience joy that is more powerful than even our strongest emotions. Emotions can be pretty powerful things and motivate a lot of human actions. But they are unreliable at best. How great is it that God can provide us with something even better! Joy is pure in that it is unadulterated by human emotion; it is steady and we can count on it in a way that we cannot always count on emotion alone.

The Bible tells us that joy is not linked to our emotions, although joy can lead to an emotional response. In Leviticus 9, a large group of people witnessed a true miracle of God. Their reaction was one of fear and awe. The passage states that they fell down on their faces with joy. We don't normally associate joy with fear and awe, but God does. Even objects not capable of emotion are capable of joy. The Bible states in several places that the rocks, hills, and trees will cry out in joy.

So, what exactly is joy then, if not an emotion? We've talked about it as an underlying peace that transcends our circumstances. It is certainly that. Here are some other things associated with joy in Scripture: songs and singing, praise to God, happiness, peace, shouting/crying out, music from instruments, rest, God's blessing, gladness of heart, eating and drinking, laughter, and strength. Joy is all of these things. Or, put another way, these things are the products of joy. When we have the joy of the Lord in our hearts, we cannot help but express it through praising, laughter, and all the rest.

What other things do you associate with joy? Make a list and then test that list with Scripture. Are the things you listed supported by the Bible? Do you need to begin to change your understanding and definition of joy at all? Can you find some products of joy that aren't listed above? If so, please share! I would love to hear from you!

More Joy

I've been thinking a lot this week about how we can find more joy. The Bible clearly states that joy comes from God and, by implication, not from ourselves. But I don't think the answer is to sit and wait for joy to magically be bestowed upon us. If we have the Spirit in our lives, and all Christians do, we have access to abounding joy. God desires for us to have this joy all the time. So, what can we do, practically speaking, to access that joy and begin experiencing it in daily life?

I think one of the answers is to simplify our lives. Unpack a bit and slow down a little. When we take our time, we can better see the little things through which God brings us joy. For example, I often rush through portions of my day with the kids. When I do that, I can miss little moments with them, like when Kate smiles at me and just sits there. Or when Will says "psst" to me, waits for me to come close, then whispers "I love you Mommy" in my ear. When I am in a hurry, I can easily get irritated with these "stalls" and anxious for the kids to just get moving. But when I stop, slow down, and just listen, it brings such joy to my heart to experience my kids in this way!

The same can be said for other things, not just moments with our kids. Like nature, or just a moment of quiet by ourselves with the Lord, or something as simple as a really good meal. Think about some things that make your life more hectic and that might be keeping you from experiencing joy in the little things. When we are intentional about slowing down and noticing all the little things in our lives, I believe it becomes easier to see and experience the peace and joy that God has already placed in our lives but that goes unnoticed a lot of the time.

Joy

Wow - I can't believe that February is over and so is our discussion about the first fruit of the spirit, love. Of course, we will really be talking about love throughout this whole study because, as I mentioned before, love is over-arching and almost all of the other fruits falls under its definition. I am excited to see where this study will lead and excited to dig into these other qualities that come through the Holy Spirit!

The next fruit, as you all know, is Joy. Merriam-Webster's Dictionary defines joy as "the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires. ... a source or cause of delight." Dictionary.com defines joy in a similar way: "1. the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying; keen pleasure; elation; 2. a source or cause of keen pleasure or delight; ... 4. a state of happiness or felicity."

Doesn't that sound great? Now, how can I get it?? This is one of those qualities that seems easy to define but difficult to achieve on a regular basis. Some people have an easier time with this one because some people are naturally joyful. I tend to be the opposite, a glass-is-half-empty kind of girl. Can any of you relate to that? I am finding, though, that God can change even the most basic of our natures, taking my tendancy towards negativity and turning it into a tendency towards hope, peace, and joy.

But let's dig into this definition a little more so we can begin to understand what exactly it is that we are seeking from this fruit. I don't believe that it is a constant euphoria. Would we really want to be in such a state all of the time anyway? I wouldn't. I like experiencing the whole range of emotions; I think it makes me a better person and makes me more capable of understanding and sympathizing with others. I think that this fruit actually refers to a deep and abiding confidence and peace. Confidence that God is in control and we don't have to live with worry in our hearts and the peace that results from that knowledge. It is an abiding peace and happiness that transcends emotion and our particular circumstances rather than being dependant on our situation.

In references to joy in the Bible, I am finding one constant theme: the joy always comes from God. We cannot get true joy from any other source. We try to find happiness apart from God and I think that people who do not know God do experience happiness. But that happiness is always fleeting. I think that must be why our culture, particularly here in the United States, is so obsessed with finding happiness. Isn't one of the country's founding ideas the "pursuit of happiness"? Apart from God, I don't think the lasting and abiding, deep and genuine happiness can ever be obtained.

How do you all define joy? Have you experienced it? Does this all strike a chord or ring true to you? In future posts, I will talk more about the "hows" of joy - how do we get it, how can we nurture it, how can we keep from losing it, etc. So stay tuned!

Adoption through Christ – His Love for us

What does it mean to be adopted? I looked up the definition in the dictionary and it says this:

To Adopt: to take up and make one’s own; to take by choice into a relationship.

Here is Ephesians, it says we are adopted into God’s family. I put The Message in there, too, because I like how it’s written.

Ephesians 1:3-6 (NIV) "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves."

Ephesians 1:3-6 (The Message) "How blessed is God! And what a blessing he is! He's the Father of our Master, Jesus Christ, and takes us to the high places of blessing in him. Long before he laid down earth's foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son."

Let me tell you about adopting our son. It is such a miracle that we have Josiah. Out of the 143 million orphans in the world, God chose Josiah to be our son. It is a miracle that we decided to adopt at the right time and had the right amount of money at the right time and got all the paperwork done as quickly as we did. We started the adoption process in May 2007. Josiah was born in June 2007 and we got his referral in July 2007. At the end of December 2007, the country stopped all new adoptions. And at that point we didn’t know what would happen but they let all adoptions that were already in process continue. In April 2008, we were able to go and pick him up. Since the country shut down adoptions while we were still waiting for Josiah, a lot of people had longer wait times and some are even still waiting on their children. We were so blessed all the way through the process.

When we got his referral, it was very unexpected. We didn’t even have our paperwork finished. We were called and they sent an email with some medical information which was in Spanish and 3 pictures. We knew he was healthy and that he was only a couple weeks old. At that point, we had to say yes, we want him, or no, we don’t. We didn’t have any doubts, he was our boy. We waited 10 long months with his picture on our frig. It seemed like forever! We can’t imagine not having him in our family. Our hearts are just filled with love for him.

I think about our next adoption a lot. The waiting is the hardest part by far! I would have never thought that I’d be going to china any time during my life. It’s a little scary, yes, but we’d do it in a heartbeat. We don’t know who our daughter is yet but we will travel to the other side of the world for her without a second thought.

Through this process, I understand a little more what God means when he said he adopted us as His sons and daughters. He chose us before the creation of the world. I don’t know who my daughter is but I love her already. I know that God is going to match us up and that He is taking care of her. And just like our kids have full rights as our children, we have full rights and are joint heirs with Jesus. God’s decision to do that for us was based in love. He has always loved us. He has loved us even though we are selfish and we don’t love him and others like we should. We don’t deserve it but he freely gives to us anyway because we are His sons and daughters.

In the light of this love, how can we not work hard every day loving others? I guess, if we are in deep relationship with Him, we will know better how love and His love should flow through us more naturally. It’s so important to be in the Word, memorizing scripture and in prayer. I wish it wasn’t so hard to do!

Seeing Others as God Sees Them

Another way to become more loving is to see people through God's eyes. When we focus on the good in people, it becomes a little easier to be loving towards them. For example, when someone is rude to me on the phone, instead of assuming he or she is just a rude and horrible person who has it in for me I can assume that he or she is having a bad day and is in need of some kindness and encouragement.

We can attribute good motives to our spouses and family members instead of assuming they are doing things to spite us or get to us. That may sound silly, but I often assume bad motives without even realizing it. I assume my kids aren't listening or obeying out of spite, just because I said it. Maybe at times this is true, but it is much more helpful to my attitude to assume that they just didn't hear me or that they got distracted by something else.

C.S. Lewis says it well in The Weight of Glory:

"It may be possible for each to think too much of his own potential glory hereafter; it is hardly possible for him to think too often or too deeply about that of his neighbor. The load, or weight, or burdern of my neighbor's glory should be laid on my back... It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one of these destinations. It is in light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. ... [I]t is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit - immortal horrors or everlasting splendors."

I know this is a long quote, but I hope you all read it carefully. Lewis is saying that we will all live for eternity in one form or another. Either we will spend eternity in glory in the presence of God or we will spend eternity removed from God's presence in absolute horror. Everyone we meet, come across, deal with, and love are in that same position. And we can influence them for the better simply by the way we treat them in everyday interactions. When we are loving towards others, we are encouraging them along the path of glory and greatness. When we are not loving, we are perhaps pushing them down the path towards horror and eternal separation from God.

When we look at our responsibility to be loving from this standpoint, doesn't it seem all that much more important a task? Don't we owe it to others and to our God, who has been so loving towards us, to treat others with that same love? It is as simple as a smile or a kind word. It is in the way we look at others and how we talk about them when they aren't present. It is in how helpful we can be to strangers and those in our own families. Can we live up to this challenge? I hope so! With God's help and our continuing efforts, I think we can.

Getting to Know Yourself

I am learning that in order to be more loving towards others, I need to get to know myself a little better in certain ways. I'm not advocating that we all become self-centered and introspective. Clearly, that is not what love is all about, but I think a little self-awareness is necessary to stop unloving habits and moods and encourage loving actions.

Let me give you an example to help explain what I mean. For me, there are certain times of day that trigger unloving attitudes. In the morning before I have my coffee, I try very hard to be loving to my kids and husband, but this is a time of day that I struggle the most. When I see this about myself and realize that I tend to be unloving at this time of day, I can look for ways around my natural inclinations so it's not as hard to be loving. I can get up a little earlier (very hard for me!) so I can have coffee by myself before my family gets up. An easy, but effective, solution.

It's not always easy to get away or remove myself from a situation so that I can have a moment to course-correct and get my mind and heart in a different place, but it's important that I at least try. And the effort is easier when I learn what those triggers for me are. When I see it coming, I can take some time, whether that is built into my day as a regular thing or just sneaking off for a few minutes, to read a Bible verse or passage, pray, or just deliberately put my thoughts on something better. In recognizing these things about ourselves and putting systems in place to deal with them, we can become more loving people overall.

What are some of your "triggers"? What ways have you come up with to deal with them?

Hearing Problems

Sometimes I swear my kids have hearing problems. And everyone else around me, too. There are days, today being one of them, when it seems that everyone is deaf to the sound of my voice. I repeat everything several times to no avail. I'm pretty sure this is common among parents of young children! By the end of the day, I am so frustrated and a little angry.

And I wonder, how often do I make God feel this way about me?? How often am I so distracted by my day and the things I put in my life that I don't hear Him or just don't pay attention? When I think about it like this, in light of my frustration, it saddens and convicts me. I want to be a person who listens. Who is ready to listen. Who is paying attention. God has something He needs and wants me to hear. I want to be there to hear it and respond!

Encouragement for Mothers

This post is geared towards mothers. I don't mean to leave anyone else out, but I thought this was too good not to share. This is a passage from Keri Wyatt Kent's book, God's Whisper in a Mother's Chaos (pages 62 and 63). Prior to this passage, she is talking about resetting our benchmarks, the ones by which we measure our spiritual "success." Instead of dwelling on guilt over not getting enough quiet time or spending as much time in prayer as we always thought we should, we need to measure our spiritual success by things like the fruits of the spirit and whether we are growing. And little things count too!

"This is the good news for mothers: the grungy, seemingly insignificant serving you do - cleaning up messes, wiping noses (and other body parts), preparing meals, dressing, undressing and bathing your kids - all of these things count in God's eyes. You are engaging fully in the discipline of service. If you can begin to view it as such, every little part of your day can be a way to connect with God.

"And all the parts of mothering that you love, like the way they fly into your arms when you get home from work or cuddling with a bedtime story or drying their tears, those count too. They please the heart of God.

"And God is not deducting points on some giant tally sheet in heaven because you missed your 'quiet time.' He's watching the way you trim the crust off the peanut butter and jelly sandwich and cut it in triangles because that's how your toddler likes it, and he's saying, 'Well done, good and faithful servant.'"

Battling a Bad Attitude

I have been battling a bad attitude lately. And especially today. It seems that once I have a bad attitude, or am in a bad mood, it is so hard for me to break out of it. It sours everything I do and all of my interactions, particularly with my husband and kids. I admit that this particular bad attitude began with a little Valentine's Day disappointment. Now, I should say at this point that my husband was wonderful to me yesterday and it was an overall good day. The problem was probably in my expectations, which were fairly high apparently and not quite met. Hence, the disappointment and bad attitude.

I awoke with the same bad attitude and dealt with it initially by trying to avoid everyone this morning. Easier said that done in a house with two preschoolers! I was not very kind to my kids and was short with my husband. Not my proudest moments, for sure.

As the morning went on and I tried to have a better attitude by will power alone (without success, I might add), I began to think about what we have been studying - love. And how our love towards others should not depend on what we get from them. I needed a change of focus from what I felt had been missed. Instead, I needed to focus on God. When I feel unloved here on earth, I can always count on the love of God. I began to think about verses I've studied in the course of doing this blog and thinking about God's expression of love through the sacrifice of His son. And it worked!

If you sense a bit of surprise, you would be right! I am ashamed to admit that I didn't actually think this would work to change my attitude. But it did. I still struggled through the rest of my day to keep my attitude in check, but it was exactly the break that I needed. I hope that I am not the only one getting the point here. We can break the cycle of disappointment, feeling unloved, and just plain being in a bad mood by changing our focus. And we can change our focus by dwelling on God and Scripture. By filling our minds (and our hearts) with the truths we know from the Bible. I purposefully turned my mind to God and His truth and my emotions eventually followed. I am so glad that I learned this lesson today and I hope that I will remember it the next time my bad attitude hits.

I also have to admit that in the past, I would have taken out my V-day disappointment by criticizing my husband and telling him exactly what I thought he did wrong. And I can say from experience that it doesn't help! It only makes everyone feel badly. God is changing my heart and I have his Word and, in part, this study to thank for it.

If you all have had "breakthroughs" or have learned something through our study so far, I would love to hear about it!

The holiday for love

As we head into valentine's day this weekend, we naturally think of our husbands (or wives). Here is a devotion on showing love to our spouse.

Proverbs 31 - Love, Respect and Admiration

How do we grow in our love for God?

I read my daily devotion that I get in my email and thought it was good.

Proverbs 31 - Grow in love for God

"Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe,"  Hebrews 12:28 (NIV)

"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever." 1 Chronicles 16:34 (NIV)

Interesting Quote

Here is a quote I got about love that I got from my Bible study workbook. The author is Dr. Criswell Freeman with Tim Way. Read it and let me know what you think!

"Love is a choice. Either you choose to behave lovingly toward others ... or not; either you behave yourself in ways that enhance your relationships ... or not. But make no mistake: genuine love requires effort."

It's All About God

God has been reminding me a lot lately that this love thing is all about Him. I think I mentioned that before but I now see it everywhere. Look at the verses from two posts ago. The focus is always on God. Not on us. And not even on the recipients of our loving actions here on earth, like our families and friends. This also is what makes this love different. The world is obsessed with love but always seems to miss the mark of real and true love. I believe this is the difference. God is love. True love can only come from Him and must be about Him alone.

Jesus says in John 3:19b, "... men loved the darkness rather than the light, for their deeds were evil." Our actions tell us where our love lies; they tell us what we love the most. A person who loves God will act in a way that reflects that love. Those actions are love being shown to others through our kindness, patience, and other elements of love found in I Corinthians 13. The purpose of our loving actions is not just to be loving, but to glorify God, whom we love. He is both the source of our love and the ultimate object of our love.

We cannot hope to love others without first knowing and loving God. Once we know and love God, our purpose is naturally to glorify Him. We glorify Him by loving others and He gives us the love and strength to do just that.

Do you all agree? Does this make sense to you? What does it mean for us and the practical steps we should be taking in our daily lives to be more loving? I want to hear what you think!

How I'm Doing So Far

I have had good moments and bad moments this week with my reactions, serving and going the extra mile. Serving is kind of a way of life for me right now because I am the mother of two very young children who cannot yet do a whole lot for themselves. But I find I'm doing a little better at serving with grace as opposed to serving with a bad attitude. I'm starting to enjoy serving more (sometimes), so I know that God is definitely making changes to my heart.

I'm starting to do better with the extra mile too, though I admit I don't think about it as often as I should. I know God is working here too because he reminds me of little things sometimes. I like to think that it was God who made me think to turn my husband's white t-shirts right-side out when folding them. Now, you should know that I used to have a strict policy of not doing this and it is kind of a pet peeve of mine. It seems silly now, but my theory was that if he was going to put them in the laundry that way he should have to turn them himself. I was actually a little peeved at God for this thought because I don't really like folding these t-shirts and I like turning them even less! (I know you all think I'm crazy now but don't we all have a little thing like this?) Anyway, I did it grudgingly and felt a little better afterwards. I don't think my husband even noticed but I felt like I served him a little better than before.

As for reactions, today has not been the best day. Am I the only one whose children like to push my buttons and know exactly which buttons to push at any given time? Well, that was my morning. And I reacted with yelling and threats (naughty spot, leaving without them, etc.). Not good and not loving. I did apologize afterwards but I clearly have more work to do on that one. I am positive I will be provided many more opportunities to practice!

How have you all been doing? Is anyone trying something new or different? Please share!

Love According to Scripture

Here are some verses about love to think about...

"He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends." Proverbs 17:9. Love means forgiving and avoiding gossip.

"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love." Romans 12:9-10. Love means devotion. Think about what it means to be truly devoted to another person. This is what love is and what we should be striving for.

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." Colossians 3:12-14

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Every one who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent His one and only son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God, but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us." I John 4:7-12 Wow. God's perfect example of love. It's too bad that sometimes it is so hard for us to truly understand and put God's love into practice in our own lives. Also note that love is knowing God.

"This is love for God: to obey His commands. And His commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith." I John 5:3 This is one of my favorites. It is so encouraging. Am I the only one who reads that first line and thinks "burdensome"? It's like God knew we would say that, so he put in the next part to encourage us and let us know that He is always with us, helping us to love him by obeying and growing in our faith.

What is your reaction to these verses? Do they inspire you? What do you learn or see about love in these verses? I challenge you to choose one of these verses, or one that you find on your own (please share it too!) and memorize it. Make it a sort of mantra this week and see if it makes a difference in your outlook, attitude, actions and life.

God is Love

I took a break for a few days in order to allow new followers to catch up. So I hope you new folks have had a chance to read the beginning entries and think about the project and start thinking about love. Have you started to put some things into practice? How is it going?

I am really excited to be writing again. I have been trying to be more loving through acts of service and going the extra mile. I have to admit that I haven't noticed a big difference in my life overall. I'm struggling with the extra mile and my attitude this week. I'm praying that God will make my heart more willing and my mind more perceptive to the needs of those around me.

Through this God has brought my attention to another area of my life that needs improvement. My reactions. They aren't always the most loving. You know, like that instant when my kids decide to disobey or challenge me. Or, this week, when my four year old decided his pants made a better potty than the actual toilet. Let's just say that it probably wasn't love my son felt from me when I discovered his choice of bathrooms. Especially on the third day of him making that particular bad choice. How do I correct this? I think the practical answer is to take a breath before speaking or reacting at all. And in that second, purposefully think about a more loving reaction. And sometimes loving means scolding a child for misbehavior. But my attitude and word choices do make a difference! Doing this is a way to listen to God and allow Him to change my heart and direct my actions.

That brings me to the next thought that has been on my heart this week. God is love. Scripture tells us this. To become more loving our focus has to be on God. There is no other way. To discover what love really means, we must get to know God. If we don't know God we cannot expect to ever know or understand the fruit of love. We must spend time with Him in prayer and through Scripture to get to know God more. He will walk beside us, directing us in becoming more loving.

This doesn't necessarily mean spending hours a day reading the Bible and praying. Most of us can't really swing that kind of time and I believe that God understands this. But we have a responsibility to use what time we do have to get to know Him more. Even if that is only a few minutes at a time. Let's make this a priority! And just watch what God will do!

The Extra Mile

I've been doing okay with my "change of focus" and practice to improve my serving attitude. How have you been doing? I admit I have messed up. I caught myself grumbling during laundry time (do I really have to be thankful and loving towards my husband's million white t-shirts that I have to fold??) and during diaper changes. But the good thing is that I caught myself! I count that as progress.

Anyway, I want to take this love practice a step further. I want to find ways to go the extra mile in serving my family. I've been trying to think of ways to do this and have been having a hard time coming up with a lot of examples, so it might be something I have to look for as I'm doing things and as I go about my daily life. One thing I thought of is to do tasks ordinarily done by my husband, like taking out the trash. This will be in service out of love for him. The key to this too is to do it with a loving attitude and without expectation of thanks or praise in return. The extra mile with my kids might include things like cutting their sandwiches into fun shapes that they like, or saying yes to that picnic in the living room that they like so much on cold winter days.

Try doing this with me! Let me know your ideas and how you do with your own practicing!

This Thing Called Love - Part 2

You may have noticed that I've been referring to I Corinthians 13 a lot. The love chapter, as it is called. The obvious and primary resource regarding love in the Bible. In fact, God was nice enough to define love for us. So, this should be easy, right??

According to I Corinthians 13:4-8a, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserveres. Love never fails." And in verse 13b, "But the greatest of these is love." Okay, so maybe not so easy...

Love is the first, and arguably most important, fruit listed in Galatians. In I Corinthians, it is defined as "the greatest" quality. It can be overwhelming. In fact, as I started looking at this chapter preparing to write this entry, I began to wonder why I had ever even taken on this project! It seems like too much! But God would not have given us this task and told us to develop the fruits if we could not do it.

If you look at the definition of love in I Corinthians, you will notice that a lot of the other fruits are listed as a part of love. For that reason, I won't delve too deeply into each element of love's definition. We will be covering those later on when we get to those fruits. (I guess that means that, in effect, we will be working on love for the entire length of this project!) But I do want to start thinking about all of the fruits in light of love and this definition. Love as the end-game, as a sort of culmination of this project.

Let's take this love thing a little at a time. What are some ways we define love in practical terms? How do we show love or enact love in our daily lives? For today, I want to focus on acts of service. That is one way we can show love to others. By doing things for them, by becoming a servant. I think it falls under the "is not proud" or "is not self-seeking" part of the definition above.

So, you may be thinking, I am a mother, I'm already a servant! True. But love is about my spirit and attitude just as much as it is in what I do. Actually, if you look at the beginning of I Corinthians, you will see that it is the attitude that matters most of all. "If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing." I Cor. 13:3.

I'll be honest. I fail a lot at this. My attitude is often very selfish when I'm doing household "service" tasks. I am more often wondering why I have to do it than thinking about love and doing it with a positive attitude. I like to grumble. But grumbling is not doing my spirit, or my family, any good at all. So, I want to put specific energy into serving with love. When I do a task (laundry, cleaning, errands, cooking, etc.), I will pray specifically for the person benefitting from my act. And I will concentrate on that person's good qualities, thanking God for him or her and focusing on my love for and commitment to that person or persons.

For example, when I'm changing my toddler's diaper, I will thank God for her and pray a blessing over her. When I'm preparing dinner, I will thank God for my husband, who gets home later than he would like because he is working so hard every day to support our family and enable me to be home with our children. You get the idea. I challenge you to do the same! And come up with more ways to turn acts of service into a true expression of love, both inside and out. Share what you are doing, successes and screw-ups too. How are your efforts impacting your overall attitude and the atmosphere in your home? I would love to hear!

This Thing Called Love

Love is such a broad term. It refers to so many things. For the purpose of this project, I want to narrow it down a little bit. I want to start with the love that God has for us. Of course, that is also a huge topic! I will just touch on it a little bit. I think if we are to understand love and show it to others, we have to know how God loves us.

We have glimpses and examples of God's love here on earth. Often, God's love for us is referred to in Scripture as a parent's love for his child. Think for a moment about how much you love your children. I know that the love I have for my two kids is stronger than anything else I have ever felt in my life. I know that, without hesitation, I would die for my kids. I would jump in front of a moving vehicle, bullet, whatever, to protect them. And I wouldn't even think about it. I look at them and I'm overwhelmed with emotion. I can't imagine loving anyone or anything else more than that. This is how God loves us and then some! Let that sink in. God loves us infinitely more than we love our own children. Wow.

In I Corinthians 13:12, Paul says "Now we see but a poor reflection..." Apply this to love. If the reflection of God's love here on earth is a parent's love for a child, how tremendous is God's love for us! My great love for my children is only a poor reflection of how God loves me. Not even a very good reflection! What love the Father has for us, that the strongest love known to man is but a weak reflection! Again, wow.

I Corinthians also says that everything else will pass away, but only love will remain. That is how important this quality is. If we think of this life as a preparation for the life to come, then developing the fruit of love becomes even more important. In God's kingdom, there will be no need for a lot of things, like prophecy and speaking in tongues as mentioned in I Corinthians 13. We won't need hope either, because our hope will be realized in finally being in God's presence. Also, since we are in God's presence, there will be no need for faith. Hebrews defines faith as "being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1. We will see God, so no need for faith anymore. But love will remain: the overwhelming love that the Father has for us and our great love for Him.

I want us all to digest this a little bit, so I'm going to continue the discussion on love and give some practical suggestions for growing in love in the next post! Please let me know what you think of my thoughts here! Anything to add?

What are the FOTS?

"The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control." These are the qualities that, as Christians, we are to develop in our lives. I guess that in the past I haven't really thought about exactly how these fruits were to develop in my life. I must have figured that since I'm a Christian, God would just bestow the fruits upon me and I would magically have them. I would suddenly be more loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, etc. But, when I think about it now, this is crazy! Sometimes I wish that this would happen. How nice would it be to just be a better person without having to do anything! We cannot really become better people without a period of growth. Just magically having the fruits would not better our spirits. It is the period of growth, the part that gets us the fruits, that really matters and that really makes us better people. It is change from the inside out.

So, what does this period of growth look like? How do I get from where I am now to having all of the fruits? I don't know about you, but it seems that when I try to just be more loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, etc. is when I fail the most miserably. Lately I've been thinking that there must be concrete, practical, and little steps I can take to start growing in these areas. I think it starts with knowing what exactly the fruits are. What does it mean to have each of these qualities? What does a fruitful life really look like? How does a fruitful person act, think, and treat people? This is where I want to begin this project. Taking each fruit one at a time and learning about it so that I can incorporate it into my life.

This life on earth is about learning and growing. It's about the journey. It's about growing into a person that can fellowship with God and be in His presence for eternity. C.S. Lewis says in his book Till We Have Faces, "How can [God] meet us face to face until we have faces?" The learning, trying, and growth that we experience in this life is giving us our real "faces" so that one day we can see face to face. Paul says in I Corinthians 13, "Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face." This is our goal. Starting with the fruits is a way to move down the road towards that goal.

Welcome to the FOTS Project

I have decided to be proactive in my own spiritual growth and learning by looking at the fruits of the spirit (FOTS) and trying to find concrete ways of developing them in my life. I am a parent so there should be plenty of opportunities to practice!

God gives us daily challenges in order for us to grow. The harder the challenge, the more opportunity for growth is present. It is our responsibility to recognize even the mundane as a tool for spiritual growth and practice. Learning about God and staying in relationship or connection with Him is a daily discipline. How can we expect to have a relationship with God if we only think or learn about Him and His word on Sundays? I need a change of focus and an attitude adjustment on a regular basis. This project is just one way to do that.

This is how it will work. We will focus on one fruit each month and I will write about it every couple of days. My wonderful sister, who is doing this with me, may do some of the main entries too. Others will comment and contribute. Together we will learn about that fruit throughout the month and come up with ways to put it into practice, being deliberate and thoughtful about it each day. In order to do this, we will need to be in God's word to learn more and be active in prayer for God's help and support. My hope is that many people will choose to contribute so that we can learn from each other and, as a result, grow even more. So, please invite all of your friends too! Each person can be committed to participating as much or as little as she wants.

At the end see where we stand. Have we learned? Have we grown? Have the fruits become a routine part of our lives? Has my attitude changed and has the change remained consistent? Have relationships improved? Am I closer to God as a result of the practice? I'm guessing that the results will be better than we can imagine.

I am so excited about the possibilities for learning and growth with this project. It may be scary and I’m sure I will at times fall short. But I also know I need the practice! God has put me in this place at this time and with these responsibilities for a reason. I want to take advantage of it. The God of the universe cares about me (and about you!) enough to put me in a position to learn and grow. And He will be with me every step of the way. After all, it is the gift of His grace that allows us to try and sometimes fail. His grace and love cover over our failures so that we can keep trying, learning, and growing. This is going to be a wild ride. I can’t wait!